A horse of a Different Color

So we're not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There's far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can't see now will last forever. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 The Message

This chemo treatment is different from the get go. I went today at 10 and was done at 3 this afternoon. I had four chemo drugs, one drug for nausea, and one steroid dose. One of the drugs has to be administered very carefully and makes me grateful for my port. It's red in color and turns your urine red. If spilled on skin it eats right through it. My nurse sat by me with 3 huge syringes of this stuff and she pushed it into my veins over 15 minutes. They like to administer it this way to watch for any problems.

Everyone has a horror story related to these drugs. A lady who was getting chemo with me today has had two doses and has been in the hospital twice, once after each dose. White blood cell counts plummet and infection easily sets in. In the course of saving lives they practically kill you.

I felt OK walking out and riding home but after reaching my house I started feeling nauseous and sick. Once again, words fail me in describing how I feel with this crap coursing through my system.

Please pray that my white blood cell counts stay good and that I can avoid infections/colds/sickness. Pray that my nausea can be controlled. Above all, pray that my attitude and actions glorify Jesus.

Because this sucks and I want to cry...