Tomorrow is my spinal tap at 9:30 am. The radiologist from St. Cloud will be here. She is suppose to be a specialist in the spine. Hopefully, she can get it on the first try. I'm scared. It hurts even when I try my hardest to meditate on scripture or think happy thoughts. :) I'm so glad each time when it's over.
Last time I asked my doctor how much longer I would have to do this. He said that when my numbers (protein in my blood) reach 12-60 (they are 140 right now but started at 2200) he would do the spinal tap every 3 weeks and then every month. Then, he said that most people continue with the spinal tap long term.
That really threw me for a loop. I spent the weekend in a funk. I really wondered what I was here for. Why doesn't God just take me home if I have to go through all this pain. What is life exactly? Why am I here?
I talked with my pastor on Sunday and he told me that the doctor wasn't the final authority on my health. I don't have to take everything he says as gospel truth. Not that he's not a great doctor because he is... I didn't even think of that, of questioning what my doctor says.
God is in charge. Always. Pray with me that these spinal taps end soon. I don't know how but God does. He has a plan and it's a good one.
Even if He has decides that spinal taps are in my indefinite future.
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