Hi!  How is everyone? I am doing well today. I have a physical therapist that comes by 2 times a week. Today I walked the length of the house twice!! Who hoo! I did 15 very modified squats. It doesn't seem like a lot but it's a start. I want to walk again and drive before too long. That's my goal.

I have been helping with home school each morning and helping my wonderful sister menu plan for the week. I feel like God had filled me with more energy lately. I am grateful for the zip I feel.

Our dog is getting older and he's begun falling on our wood floors. He comes out in the living room to visit and then he fall and someone (not me yet) has to help him get back up. I know he's part St. Bernard and Springer Spaniel and St. Bernards are know for hip displasia. I guess now I need to talk to the vet about supplements or pills that might help him. I know the cold doesn't help him either.

Here is Samson. What will we do when he's gone??

hi everyone!

WOW almost most 2 months since I posted. Seem to have gone through some medical crisis's since then. But God is good through everything and I'm still here tell you about it .

I'm not sure where to start or where I left off. My doctors in the cities did a scan a few months ago and discovered that I had developed malignant tumors along my spine and in my brain. They were discouraged and to be honest, I was at first. We think we can only handle what we think we can handle. Not exactly what God says in his word, though.

After Dan and I got our heads around it, we saw that it meant more radiation and chemotherapy for me. Let me tell you, that I have only gotten through these past few months by trusting Him. Nothing else is worth it.
I WILL never, ever say it's been an easy road he's asked me to walk.

Had treatment today. I go into Crosby and they hook up my  port and then they took blood. After we talk with doctor about how I'm feeling then it's time for my spinal tap where the doc puts the medicine directly in my spine. That's the painful part. I have to ask Jesus to be with me every time. I cannot do it any other way.

Today, since getting treatment, Dan and Carleen took me to get some Taco Bell (can taste spicy foods better) then home where I slept most of afternoon and finally decided to update blog. I don't feel very good right now but it's all in His hands.

SO there's everything in a nutshell. Thank you so much for your tender, loving care of me during this time. You are loved!

They're back....

A couple of weeks ago, I began having the shakes and getting dizzy. I thought that I was on a medication that was causing these side effects. I went off the medication right away and then I began throwing up. I thought that I was going through a couple of days of withdrawal. I went through a couple of days of this and then I stopped throwing up. I thought I was getting better. In a few days I started throwing up again and after trying to get into my doctor and not getting to see her right away, Dan took me to the ER.

There, they gave me 2 bags of liquids and several shots to keep me from throwing up. I went home that night. I went back the next day because I was throwing up again. I got another shot and another bag of fluids so I wouldn't dehydrate.

On Tuesday, Dan took me down to the cities to have another MRI and a meeting with my neurosurgeon. The MRI went smooth and we went up to the doctor's office. We were meet by our nurse. She opened up the conversation with a little small talk and then she got down to business. "The MRI doesn't look good". She told us that the tumors were back. There wasn't just two but now three. In four short months, they had filled back in where they were taken out and filled in one other small place.

What do we do with the information? We were both in shock. Why us? Why now? Why again?

I still haven't processed everything. I know that I still trust God. I have to, once again, go back to what he said to me. I trust Him. I will follow Him.

Please pray for us. We know that God is faithful. May we see goodness from His hands soon. We believe that He has miracles in store for me, for our family. Pray that we see it!

Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us. Ephesians 3:20

November 11, 2012

The food has been so good. People have signed up at church to bring a meal to us three nights a week. Let me tell you, we have needed each one. Sometimes, when I get to that time of the evening, I can't even think about supper or the plans for it. Having something to put on the table is great. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

As far as I go, it's slow. I feel better but have began to have shaky hands. I don't know where it comes from because I've asked the neurosurgeon if it was something they did and he said no. If I drink or eat or type or just about anything where my hands take a starring role, I shake like an old man with palsy.

I am expecting Dan's parents to leave pretty soon. They have been here to help and help they have! I appreciate family so much. I don't know how others do without.

Otherwise, I am slipping back into a routine. My body says no a couple times a day and I have to sit or lay on the couch until I get the strength to go again.

Please pray for me. Pray that God heals me and I want my shakiness to go away. Pray that I have the strength for the things that are important.  Pray that He will be glorified through all of this.

Love to you all.

What is the Difference Between Neurosurgeon and Neurologist

So, tomorrow I head to the cities to have a cat-scan and another appointment with my neurosurgeon. I've been calling him my neurologist but my oncologist says I shouldn't call him that. He's a neurosurgeon and apparently, the difference between the two is about seven figures. If you care about that kind of thing. :)

Anyway, I feel like I've done some major grumping lately. I'm sorry. I start feeling sorry for myself, wondering what I ever did to deserve this and before I know it, I'm completely depressed. I'm not immersing myself in the Word if I'm feeling sorry for myself.

I'm trying to find the "thankful" in each day. A friend reminded me in a text that God's Word says to be thankful in everything. I know I haven't been doing very good at that lately.

Pray for me, would you? Pray that I would see God each day, that I would be thankful for what He is doing in my life and that I would see Him heal me. I can do NOTHING without Him.

Update

I'm here. I just use almost all my energy to do the kid's homeschooling in the morning. I somehow think that I should be farther along, that I should be close to feeling like my old self. But I don't. It's really slow. I don't know, like I had brain surgery three times or something.

I have straightened out a few problems that I had when I came home from the hospital. Like going to the bathroom. Apparently, after three, close surgeries your body forgets how to complete even the basic things.

But, I still have my shingles. The sores are crusted over and healed up but I have nerve pain from it frequently. I am not sleeping at night - just a few winks here and there - and am being awakened by pain and itching from the side with shingles.

Please pray with me that God heals my body of these terrible shingles. I am looking forward to the day that they are no longer with me.

Otherwise, I have a very itchy head. I am supposing that the stitched areas a healing. I want to really get after it and scratch but I am only suppose to use the pads of my fingers. Sometimes, I feel like I'm one giant itch.

I renewed my driver's license last week after finding out that it expired while I was in the hospital awhile ago. It's nice to drive a car again - I didn't forget that at all. I take Shelby to practice, Levi to practice, Macy to practice. Aaah, the glamorous life of a volleyball, football, soccer mom.

My brother is doing much better. He is home and doing therapy locally. He wasn't cleared to head back to work although he thinks he should be. I'm guessing that will be pretty soon, though.

My mom and dad will be heading home next week. Their help has been great and I will miss them so much but I know it's time to try living without the help, without having someone here to help me out always. I guess it's time to try to fly on my own. I'll let you know how it goes.

Here I Am

I've spent the past few weeks just being home and recuperating. I feel like I have such a long way to go but each day is good.

Carleen will go home on Thursday and my parents will be up on the next Monday. I am sad to see her go because she has been so much fun and help. Hopefully, I will have a few weeks with my parents helping and then I will be off and running by myself.

 I will go visit the brain surgeon on Thursday and he will take my stitches out. I am so excited. I am very itchy down the back of my neck where they run. I go see the oncologist and the radiologist on Friday. Please pray for me. I am only interested in what God has to say and His will for my life.

A couple of things that you can pray for me at home or wherever you are;

Pray for stamina - to keep up with my kids and husband and life
Pray that the last of shingles to go away - that my behind would be normal again
Pray that I will know God's will concerning radiation.
Pray that God will make me a new and better Colleen - one who came through breast cancer and brain tumors and has a story to tell.

I knew I hadn't blogged in awhile. Sorry and I hope this makes up for it. Love you all!


Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26