I want to know that I'm free from cancer.
I want a clean bill of health
I want to know He's healed me.
I live in between.
I'm getting better.
But everything small and big makes my thoughts scatter.
I wonder if the cancer is back. In my spine or head or stomach.
I can feel helpless and alone in a split second.
This is where I have choices to make. Do I believe Him who came to me in a dream and reassured me, telling me that He would heal me and do His good works through me?
Or do I let the dark, ugly images of cancer and death crowd my mind until there's nothing but that.
Maybe I sound like a broken record but I choose Him. I choose life moment by moment. The dark is too dark. I cannot go there. I choose Him who said He would make my burden light if I just let Him.
Somedays it's a choice that needs to be made every couple of seconds. Other times are relatively calm.
I know I need Him. I cannot do it any other way.
1 comment:
Cling to light and hope. Rest and health. Thinking of you.
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