Happy Birthday DH

I have been very remiss. My wonderful hubby celebrated his birthday April 1 and I didn't even mention it here. It's been so much about the illness and my treatments and for that I'm truly sorry.

I know you all know what a great guy I married but I wanted to toot his horn a bit more. I know that I couldn't have made it through everything I've come through without him. He's my knight in shining armor. When I was out of my mind (really, don't remember much of this) he was there. This whole time he's been a saint to me and has taken care of me without complaint.

How did I know, at such a young age, who would be best for me? I didn't but I did know Someone who knew. I remember when I was 16 and I was having trouble with this girl at school. I won't tell you how I made this girl mad but she wanted to seriously kick my butt. I went to my Dad and told him about the difficulties I was having at school with this particular female and he told me that I needed to get a big boyfriend. I guess I took him seriously and after eyeballing this particularly cute guy in gym class, the rest is history.

So, here's to you, big guy. Your the best!

Sometimes I Am So Terrified...

Sometimes I'm so terrified...

I want to know that I'm free from cancer.
I want a clean bill of health
I want to know He's healed me.

I live in between.
I'm getting better.
But everything small and big makes my thoughts scatter.
I wonder if the cancer is back. In my spine or head or stomach.
I can feel helpless and alone in a split second.

This is where I have choices to make. Do I believe Him who came to me in a dream and reassured me, telling me that He would heal me and do His good works through me?

Or do I let the dark, ugly images of cancer and death crowd my mind until there's nothing but that.

Maybe I sound like a broken record but I choose Him. I choose life moment by moment. The dark is too dark. I cannot go there.  I choose Him who said He would make my burden light if I just let Him.

Somedays it's a choice that needs to be made every couple of seconds. Other times are relatively calm.

I know I need Him. I cannot do it any other way.

Spring, Spring Where Art Thou??

We are having a heck of a time finding spring in the north land this year. As I sit here in my chair and look out the window the snow is coming down fast and furious. We are under storm warning tonight and may get another 5 or 6 inches by morn.

Dan got home from a quick trip to Colorado this weekend. He went out to see his parents and get his (new to him) truck. He finally has a vehicle that fits him as a man. He looks just right in his F-250. It always looked strange to see a big man unfold himself from a small truck. Anyway, he's home now.

We are all sick with chest colds including me. It should go away soon but keep us in your prayers.

In the meantime, if you find spring send her this way k?!

Quick One

Hi! I know I haven't posted in awhile. I had another spinal this past Friday. It went pretty well. I just never know how I'll feel afterward. This time, I felt pretty crummy Friday night and Saturday. By Sunday, though, I felt better.
Shelby and I gave our testimony at church on Sunday night. I was told by many that they were touched deeply by what was said. I can say that because it wasn't what we said but what God did with what we said that counted. Isn't He cool?
My oncologist wants me to have a PET scan in the next couple of weeks. Please keep those results in your prayers.
I am going to head to bed now. Sweet dreams!