Blood Test Results

I went in for my blood test yesterday. My blood test was to be repeated today because my liver enzymes were elevated last time. I had to call to get the results because they were busy over there. She said it looked like the numbers are coming down - still above normal but moving down. I'm guessing this is good. The doctor will review next week and we will see if I get a call from him.

The battlefield is now in my mind. When something like this happens I worry about having cancer again. I wrestle with it a bit and then I have to make a conscience decision to turn it back over to God. I, again, choose to trust, choose faith over worry, choose life over death.

It's too bad that it's not something I can decide once and it's done. But, that is not the way of life, is it? So many decisions have to be made again and again.

I was at our church's women's retreat last weekend. I was asked to give my story to the ladies there. I did so on Sunday morning. I believe that God wants me to share my story whenever I'm asked.

Hopefully, I can get the video off my phone and onto my blog sometime this week.

Ciao!

Too Pooped to Party

Dan and I are tired tonight. It might have something to do with the fact that while I was at the grocery store yesterday, my eldest child thought it was a good idea to tell a couple of the little ones a scary story.

It must have been a hum dinger. For when it was bedtime, the details of the scary story came back to haunt the kiddos. One of the little ones was up last night about 50 times until I was heard saying, "YOU HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR RIGHT NOW BUT ME!!".

My family would say that I am not "very unhospitable" when I'm woken up in the night. I fear they are right. You've seen those shows where the army recruits are kept from sleep for several days straight and made to run in the surf and crawl under things and sprayed with water. Let's just say that if someone did that to me, their death would be imminent.

So, I'm not sure what time she finally went to sleep. I just know that Dan and I are dragging butt today.

Our Future

Just received this link to a snippet about what college students think the American Dream is and who should provide that for them. Watch the clip and you will be stunned.

Where did these kids get the idea that the government is suppose to provide everything for them? I have my ideas but what do you think?

It's 4 in the Morning

It's 4 in the morning and I'm WIDE awake. I've been on steroids for ten days now. They are suppose to help with my bronchitis/ pneumonia crud. So far, they have screwed with my sleep big time. Last night, I felt close to exhaustion- the way I felt many months ago. So I went to bed at a decent time and went right to sleep only to wake up now and be fully awake!

Yesterday was my last day taking the steroids so hopfully my sleep will return soon.

 I went in for my 3 month check up on Friday. I have yet to hear the words from my oncologist, "Colleen, you are cancer free or NED (no evidence of disease)". I would say my oncologist is "cautiously optomistic" with me. I just want to hear him say that I've beaten this thing and I can be on my way. I'll take it three months at a time, I guess.

I could ask myself why it's important for me to hear those words from him. I believe God has healed me and that should be good enough, right?

 My liver enzymes were a little elevated but he said that could be from this viral crud I've had for a month now. I have to go back in in 2 weeks for another blood test to see if the levels have returned to normal.

 So this is the way the year after battling cancer will go. In once a month to have my port flushed. In every three months to see the oncologist and have blood work done.

When I'm back there and see all those people getting their chemo I'm filled with lots of emotions. I want to get in and out of there as quick as possible. I don't want to remember how painfully hard it has been.

I just want to look forward.

I had cancer but it does not define me.