Had my second round of chemo today. Tried a few different things to help with nausea but it doesn't seem to be working so far. I sit here in my bed with my puke bowl beside me. It would help if it didn't take an act of God for me to throw up. I've always been very resistant to throwing up and I think that is bad sometimes. I think relief would come for a bit if I could just get the job done.
I have new medicine for the nausea and took it this afternoon on the way home. unfortunately, one of the side effects is a terrible headache which I now have along with the sick stomach. I'm sure they are trying to kill me. :)
I will be half way done when I get through with this round. Can I do two more? I just don't want to think about it now but I can't help but think about it.
I'm sorry that my posts are not light and fun lately. I need to be real here, though, and that includes the good and the bad, the ups and the downs. Writing helps me process what is going on.
I don't know that I've ever done anything this difficult in my life. Maybe the pregnancy with the triplets comes close. I was so sick during that time, also. I see many similarities between these two times in my life.
I loved this quote that I came across from Mother Teresa. She said, "I know God won't give my anything I can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much."
I do know that God has showered me with blessings that have come because of this horrid disease. Just recently, I have received from others awesome meals brought to our door, housecleaning every Friday by different ladies in our church, money from friends at MOPS and Tuesday morning bible study to go shopping for clothes for myself, a check in the mail from a cousin and someone from church, a cute outfit for me to wear from my mother-in-law and sister-in-law, a meal out with a friend, a picnic where we didn't have to bring anything, and the list goes on and on.
It's like God is telling me that he knows what I am going through is hard and then showering me with love from others. I do feel loved. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
I need to go now. As always, please keep me in your prayers. I can only do this through Christ who gives me strength.
6 comments:
Colleen, You are so strong, such an amazing woman! - continue to fight the good fight! We will continue to lift you up in prayer. B and J
Wow, Coleen I have been praying for you from the moment I found out! We had our Sunday school class praying for you this last week and we will continue. I know I haven't seen you in so long but I sure feel very close to you in Christ! I love you and will continue checking in on you. Miss you Tams :)
We are praying for you, Colleen, and trusting God's strength to be yours.
Yes, indeed, God is love. Of course, you're feeling overwhelmed and sick. You are sick, and fighting so hard. Your words, that heal you, will help others. Write on!
Real is the best way to be. You're not fighting this alone Colleen. You have all these caring friends and family and most importantly the creator of the entire universe on your side! He is going to take care of you because you are more precious to Him than you could ever imagine. Love you and praying for you....
YOU CAN DO THIS!!! YES, it is hard and it really stinky at times...but you have more strength than you realize! (I know, I wanted to quit with only two chemo's left to go....but I forced myself to go...that was two years ago :) Every bit of pain and suffering is worth the blessing of today! Please email me if I can be of any assistance! Remember--you can do this (especially if you let the Lord carry you when you are too weak to walk.)
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