Happy, happy, joy, joy

I'm two thirds done with my radiation. I've had a bit of fatigue but it is smooth sailing compared to chemo fatigue. My right breast area is very itchy and I've scratched enough to open up the skin in places. I'm using some cortizone cream and I've been slathering the area with lotion. Hopefully, that will take care of it. Otherwise, the doctor said he would get me some cream that is used for severe burn victims. He did tell me it would probably get worse before we're done.

I go in for my herceptin treatment tomorrow. I will so glad to have that finished in December. It's been such a long journey... Today, I just want it all to be over with. I want my boobs back, my hair back, and a body that doesn't feel like it's 80 years old. I have been poked and prodded, stuck, pinched, and today they drew on me with a Sharpie. I'm sick of it all. Will I ever see "normal" again?

Cancer is stupid! Grrr, ya think I have a bad attitude today?

Radiation

Is it really mid August already? We have packed so much into our days... mostly outdoor stuff like the beach. We went tubing down the river last week with friends. We lazily drifted down the river for a few hours. It was a beautiful day!

I started radiation two Tuesdays ago. After the set up, it's been pretty simple.

I go in each day. I sit in the waiting room for about a minute before they call me back. I walk into the room and sign in and then I take off my shirt and necklace. I lay down on a table/board/hard thing that hurts my back. I turn my head to the left and up and I reach over my head with my arms to grab this handle. They align my tatoos with certain points.There are red lasers and and a round disk attached to an arm that rotates over my body and makes beeping noises. Looks like a small flying saucer. It's over in a few minutes and I am out the door until the next day. Then, I do it all over again.

Here's a picture of the new radiation machine that they put this year. This is the room I go to five days a week. I will be finished mid September after 31 treatments.

The doctor and nurses have been giving me heck about my tan. I'm suppose to be careful in my right breast area (or lack of breast area) with the sun. Darn, I guess I will stop going to the nude beach. I just refuse to stay out of the sun, though. Very little summer is left and I will enjoy every moment I can!

Dan and I enjoyed a day in Duluth and up the north shore while ALL 4 CHILDREN WERE AT CAMP. Yes, you read that right. The kids went to camp the same week. The little ones for 3 nights and Shelby for 5 nights. Anyway, we ate at a great restaurant and cruised along the shore of Lake Superior. We also enjoyed a bit of peace and quiet. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't want it that way for very long but it was nice for a few days! :)

Otherwise, I have been enjoying life. We hope to take the kiddos camping in the next week or two for the weekend. We are looking forward to our new school year. We all are anticipating a time without "treatments and sickness". It's coming soon! Yay!

One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple. Psalm 27:4

Sweet Surprise

I was doing my grocery shopping on Saturday when I get a call and I didn't recognize the number but I answered it anyway. It was our local bike shop. The man asks me if my name is Colleen and I reply, "Yes". He tells me that they have a bike for me at the shop. I pause for a moment, searching for the right words, "Are you sure you have the right person? I didn't drop a bike off for repairs." He tell me that he has a bike for Colleen and this was the number given. I say thanks and that I will be over there right away. I'm curious and shaky with excitement as I make my way to the bike shop.

Let me go back by saying that I have been wanting a cruiser style bike so that I can work on getting my strength back after 7 months of chemo. I had talked to a friend about purchasing one from her and then it fell through because the bike had been given to someone else. I knew that somehow I would get a bike and thought I would look at some garage sales.


I walk into the bike shop and this bike is setting here in the show room with my name on it. The card said,
Colleen! Congratulations...the Lord has worked miracles in you! Enjoy the freedom! "Count it all joy my brothers..." James 1:2-4




Mine is not white but pink. Isn't it seriously cool? And isn't it even more cool that God provided exactly what I needed and even more than I could imagine!

The man who set the bike up for me said that his mom and grandmother had had breast cancer. He told me that doing surprises like this was his favorite part of the job.

Dan and I went for a spin last evening. It rides like a dream! I felt like a kid again and I got a great workout in the process.

So, if you see a bald chick on a pink cruiser, it's probably me. :) Honk and wave, k! Mmmm, on second thought, just wave.

A BIG thank you to my anonymous gift giver(s). Your love for Him and me is amazing!

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13

Loons calling

While Shelby was taking swim lessons the other day, several loons were calling to each other just past her. I caught it on video. I love Minnesota summers.

Hamster Shenanigans

If you read my post called Crazy Hamster Sex, you know that we were about to buy the girls some hamsters. We did that for their birthday. We were very specific about wanting two, girl hamsters so that we would not have a family of hamsters later. Well.....

Looks like those folks at the pet store have no idea how to tell a boy hamster from a girl hamster.

One evening as I was singing to the girls at bedtime, I looked at their hamsters and thought one of them looked like she was getting bigger, rounder. I googled "how to tell a hamster's sex" and then went back to the girl's room for an inspection. Dan and I held them up and, hmmmm, sure looks like we have a boy and a girl.

I'm guessing that as soon as we put those little hamsters in the cage together they immediately got married and then got down to business.

I asked Macy if she still wanted her boy hamster to be named Princess. She thought for awhile and decided Sam would be a better name.

So, we have separated the little rats. Not that it will do a lot of good now.

We are awaiting the impending birth with baited breath.

Quick Update

I'll give a quick update...I should be in bed right now but have felt guilty about not updating my blog.

I had my echo two weeks ago. "Unofficially," my heart is doing well. I haven't met with my oncologist yet but the tech said that everything looked good. He chided my for not staying on top of my treatment. I was suppose to have an echo every three months while on Herceptin and my last echo was in December. He said that it's really sad when someone beats cancer only to die of heart disease. Duly noted. I will stay on top of it from here on out.

This past week, I met my doctor in charge of my radiation therapy. We talked about my care and why it was necessary for me to have radiation when there was no cancer on my PET scan or in my breast tissue after my mastectomy. He said that chemo takes care of most of the cancer but there could still be some out there that radiation will finish off. He said that I should have minimal effects from the radiation. I'm so glad to hear that!

The following day, I went back and had a CAT scan to help map out my body for radiation. Then, I was given two small tattoos to mark the area that will be radiated. Darn, nothing cute like a butterfly or a flower. They just put a dab of ink on my skin and then jabbed it in with a needle. They are so small it's hard to differentiate them from a mole.

This week I am waiting to hear when I will start radiation. I will have it for 6 weeks, 5 days a week.

I had my Herceptin treatment also last week. It doesn't make me sick but I have had some aches from it. Couldn't figure out why my bones ached and then I looked up the side effects and it was listed there. I'll take it, though. So much better than barfing.

Other than that, I have taken the kids to the beach several times. It was hot here last week with high temps and high humidity. So instead of sitting around in the air conditioning, we played in the sand and floated in the water. It's so nice to do some summery things and feel pretty good while doing them!

Well, that was not quick. But now you all have been updated and my guilt is gone. :) Enjoy these dog days of summer and I'll try to post again sooner than later.

I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands. Psalm 63:4

It's All Done!

I'm doing well. This last chemo seemed to be really hard. I guess I was just wanting to get it over... imagine that! :) I was sick and in bed for 3 or 4 days. I can't even describe how yucky I feel after the treatments and I have asked God to spare me that experience ever again. I can't go there and I have to visually place my life in God's capable hands and leave it there. It's something I do daily, sometimes many times daily.

My mom was here for two weeks to help while I had chemo. The words "thank you" seem grossly inadequate when I think about our family and how they have been here during this past 7 months. You are awesome and I love each of you dearly!

We received our last meal from our church family and friends tonight. These people have fed us anywhere from 2-4 times a week for the past seven months. My friend, Lisa Drake coordinated the effort to make sure that we had these meals when we needed them most. What a God sent is was to not have to worry about food while there was so much more on our minds.

I just get so emotional when I think about how much everyone has done for us. When you gave money, food, and gifts you were being the hands and feet of Jesus to us. We have been profoundly changed by your generosity.

So, what are the next steps? One chemo drug in particular can damage the heart so I have a echo cardiogram next week to check it out. The following week on July 21, I have an appointment with my radiologist. After that appointment, we will have a clearer picture of what is to happen.

I will continue receiving Herceptin treatments every three weeks until December. After that, I can have my port taken out and then I will have reconstruction surgery sometime next spring.

It feels so good to be this far in my journey. Cancer is a real bummer to say the least but I don't want to miss all the things cancer can/has taught me. When I feel myself getting frustrated over something inconsequential, I remind myself that it really "ain't a big deal". Life is too short to sweat the small stuff. If I can bring glory to God each day that he has me here on this earth, then that's good enough for me.

Click here to read what, John Piper, author and pastor, has to say about what cancer can teach us. Amen, John Piper.


In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:18